Natalie

I think Mr. Frost must have been thinking about his children in part, when writing A Passing Glimpse.... It has always been one of my favorites and I always assumed he was thinking about how quickly life passes us by....Two lines have always stood out to me

I often see flowers from a passing car

That are gone before I can tell what they are...

Was something brushed across my mind

That no one on earth will ever find?

It's been almost eight months we've been blessed with our darling little girl.
Eight months...how it has flown by already.
The other day we had the privilege to celebrate a good friends own little miracle. As I sat watching her hold her perfect little son her mother asked me, "Can you even remember when Natalie was so small?"

The answer is yes and no.....
I remember that she was small...I remember how she fit on my chest when I would hold her, I remember how afraid I was that I would hurt her, or drop her, or choke her while feeding her...
I remember how my heart ached to touch her and kiss her when I had just laid her down in her crib....I remember how tiny she looked in my husbands arms.
I remember the torrent of emotions her birth unleashed in me - I remember that my husband was worried I had the baby blues :)


I remember being set on not forgetting a single moment or experience with her because, I knew she would grow....

It was just a glimpse those first moments....
I try to remember her smile, the way she would try to hold her head up, her coos, how cross-eyed she so often was trying to focus on something....
And now, I find myself trying to imprint on my memory her laugh, her crawl, the way she sits herself up, how she feeds herself....

She has grown.
Her abilities have grown.
Her emotional range has grown.
She is not a baby anymore, she is becoming a little girl right before our eyes.

We truly do not have enough time... every moment is a blessing to cherish.

Everyday she grows and surprises me.
Everyday she does something new.
Every second she makes me smile.

There are things I never want to forget....
The way she smiles now, this very minute in time, with her tongue twisted when she's truly happy.
The way she sleeps in my arms, so relaxed and calm...her face almost looks like a little girl's  and not a baby.
How proud of herself she is when she stands up, or picks something up, or crawls on her knees...
she knows it's something new she has conquered and she knows we are cheering her on....
I never want to forget that look on her face, it's the best thing I have ever seen.
The way she smiles at Matthew when he gets her from her naps.
It is the most beautiful, love filled smile I have ever seen.

Her smile can bring me to tears, it can make me laugh, and every day it makes me thankful.
God chose me to be Natalie's mother. He chose to bless Matthew and I with the most amazing gift of love. I know it's only a moment in time, and I am determined to remember every look, every touch, and every emotion of it.

From now on this blog will probably be only about and for Natalie....and, I will probably be more diligent in my keeping of it.

I don't ever want to wonder what I am forgetting years from now....I don't ever want her to ask me a question about her life that I cannot recall....

Obviously, I know I will forget some things, and some things I will want to forget.....
I know there will be frustration, and tears, and exhaustion, and messes....

Overall, I know though that there will be a little bit of heaven in every day when she smiles at me.