What do these things have in common.....part I

Wigs, Adele, pot-holes, ghettos, bad pop music, and Jane Austen?
You guessed it me!

     After 839 miles of driving with a 65 pound dog in my lap and a water bottle propped on the shifter -so Toby couldn't knock me into neutral while going 45 mph, I'm fairly sure I left my transmission in North Carolina- I arrived in Baltimore Maryland at approximately the car jacking hour. Which, contrary to my romantic idealism of big cities, is all hours. Thanks to my GPS at 1 a.m. I was lost and the only car brave, or stupid enough, to be on the roads at such an hour. Much to my surprise this Baltimore, the real one not the one I envisioned in my head, was not a small gleaming lights version of New York city on a bay, in which I was sure sail boats would be out to welcome me when I arrived.....but, let us start from the beginning my friends.

    I left Thursday morning around 10 a.m., not the least bit nostalgic, I drove off into the horizon with complete and utter crankiness. I was tired, and didn't get coffee because my Keurig was packed away in my trunk under a suitcase of Florida clothes, pressed for time as I felt I was, I forestalled my Starbucks stop. Toby, the dear and sometimes annoyingly obsessive thing, in the front seat because, this being the only available space in my car to put anything. I believe it took him a solid 300 miles to find a comfortable position. Once on the road however, I had my lovely book on cd companion Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict (quite appropriate for the big city idealizations bouncing around like a ping pong ball in my small town mind) to keep me entertained. The ride was really uneventful and terribly long.

    I did however learn of places in which 6 people can sleep for $62 South of the Border, find many a signs to buy beautiful, classy, designer, hi-fashion wigs, and catch up on what passes for music these days in the pop world. (And yes Alicia, it was spelled hi-fashion, to be fair that was in South Carolina).  Rhianna solidified my inkling of the degradation of our nation's youth, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me....come on," yes I listened to this song in it's entirety. I was displeased with myself to find I was grooving along to the beat. Now I know where these little hooligans get their flippant mouthed open disregard for anything slightly resembling to a moral code. Rhianna is not the only one to blame. No no, Young Jeezy is at fault here as well. Anyone who chronicles their non-monogamous exploits in a song where said exploits are compared to eating pork rinds, should not be allowed to be a number one hit maker and thus a role model for previously afore mentioned hooligans. Again, unfortunately, quite a catchy beat, even Toby seemed to really enjoy the phonetically manipulated sounds of sleazy Jeezy's voice. I did enjoy Maroon 5's throw back nod to old school boom boxes, it seems my heart is a stereo....but, it beats for Adele. After a stop through the woods to visit Granny, I powered through the last few hours of my drive oblivious to my aching back and boredom screeching along to Adele's crooning. My crooning on the other hand caused Toby to spring up out of a dead sleep, seemingly expecting to see someone throttling me. He looked utterly terrified, so I tried to keep my bellowing to a low murmur as to not cause a paralytic stroke in my poor dog. Here.....I arrive at my destination. Baltimore, Maryland.
    

     As I mentioned before, I arrived at approximately 1 a.m. in desperate need of a rest stop. Nonetheless, nothing safe seemed to be found. The juxtaposition of old brown stone type structures placed right a top of stores (or what I assumed to be stores of some sort) in which any nook or cranny was battened down with metal locked roll down doors was quite a shock. Where was the bay filled with sail boats? Where were the cobble stone streets? All I was seeing, or hitting rather, were pot holes the size of Texas. I was apparently in the wrong neighborhood. The neighborhood in which the Maryland Board of Nursing resides. The ghetto. I thought it would be prudent to stay the night near my next mornings destination. My plan being to walk/drive to it the next morning to get my nursing license. Turns out the nearest hotel in which I would actually allow myself and my dog to sleep was a bit of a drive away, in the down town area. This Sheraton in which I found had a lovely little dog run in the middle of the street square, which I thought was an excellent asset for my four legged traveling companion. I again was quite shocked when the hotel attendant requested I be escorted to said dog run (which was close enough I could have thrown Toby to it) for my safety. In the morning, when driving around I realized this dog run is located a stones throw away from multiple strip clubs, as well as the police station. Which one would think was comforting, except for the fact that the highly popular show "The Wire" is filmed in this very area and apparently holds a record of some sort for murders. Welcome to Baltimore.